Wanted: Inner Peace
by xenophilius X3
Summary: Hibari enrolled in an inner-peace class… and who else other than a certain illusionist to screw everything up? Oneshot. Crack .


**Wanted: Inner Peace**

**Summary:** Hibari enrolled in an inner-peace class… and who else other than a certain illusionist to screw everything up? Oneshot. Crack .

**Warning:** urm, other than Mukuro's presence, no.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own KHR, if I did (_insert funny statement here__)_.

**A/N:** This took place 4YL, when Hibari is not as pissed at Mukuro as he is now, but still easily angered.

Please excuse my grammar, I started taking English like… 4 years ago? Reviews are very much appreciated, a big thank you to all of you who reviewed this (:

**o.0.o.0.o.0.o**

Hibari Kyouya knew that his brain had been malfunctioning when he didn't reject enrolling in the class conducted by some heinously herbivorous hag.

Earlier that week, the infant had told the prefect to be calmer during times of stress, or others may think that the Vongola Cloud Guardian PMSes everyday. Well it wasn't Hibari's fault that people were crowding in the hall for some mafia gathering. It wasn't his fault that a pompous male came up to him and said that there was nothing shameful about being a female in mafia, thus cross-dressing is unnecessary. It may be Hibari's fault that he beat the man half-dead and almost annihilated everyone who went forward to help. But Hibari dare say that the bill for the damage to the hall was what eventually drove the infant to enroll Hibari in a 'inner-peace' class.

Hibari admits that he may need to calm down a little, given that he appears to have quite some demeanor, therefore it comes as a big shock when people discovered the true face of Hibari Kyouya. 'Outer peace' does not equal to 'inner peace', moral of the story.

Now, the infamous Hibari Kyouya is sitting in a room smelling of cheap perfume and smoke emitting from the burning incense on every table. Apparently there are some others in the class. The prefect sipped his tea at at a far corner, away from the babbling stick insect, as Hibari called the stick-thin woman who conducts the session. She was droning on and on about 'why are we in this class' and 'what we are aiming to achieve'. Hibari felt that prick of irate on his temple again. He grinded his palm against it.

'Excuse me, ma'am. I am here to attend the course.' The voice was too familiar, too irritating and too goosebumps-raising to be ignored. Hibari glared at the blue-haired teen standing by the door. 'Rokudo Mukuro.' Hibari growled, startling the teacher. She raised a thin eyebrow. 'That's what I call 'unsophisticated'. Clearly you gentlemen have some issues.' Hibari tightened his grips on the tonfas, ready to lash out at the smirking pineapple. He was deciding whether to land the hit on the cheek, up the chain or shove the tonfas up the pineapple's mouth. 'You two will be working together, all the better to train to suppress anger and achieve inner peace. Now get along, boys.'

'Kyouya, you keep looking at me, I'm flattered.' Grinned Mukuro. Hibari narrowed his hawk-like eyes at the illusionist, but averted his gaze to the teacher instead.

**o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o**

Lesson no. 1: count to 10

Of course, Ms Stick-insect started with the basics. Count to 10 when you are angry, it is supposed to subside the anger a bit. Unfortunately, some of the guys in the class are pondering over the question of the speed to count to 10. 'Is it onetwothreefour or one, two, three, four? Or should it be one Mississippi, two Mississippi… or o-n-e m-i-s-s-i-s-s…' you get the idea.

Lesson no. 2: picture things that annoy you the most 

Picture them at a veeeerry far place, moving closer to you. When you feel like lashing out/mutilating/murdering them in the most horrible fashion, halt. When they are in front of you, you are cured of the disease of being annoyed at annoying things.

It is impossible for Hibari Kyouya to find this course useful. The most annoying thing was sitting beside him and there's no way in hell Hibari will picture that irritating thing approaching him, though he may be able to conjure an image of the pineapple flying away from him, and maybe from the sheer power of his will, Rokudo would disappear.

A feat which, given how the terrible pineapple was smirking at him, was impossible.

Lesson no. 3: breath in, breath out

Hibari CAN NOT fathom why he was paying for instructions on how to be a living thing. Seriously? Breathing _should_ have came naturally to anyone.

Lesson no. 4: think twice

By thinking twice, Hibari discovered that he has developed a more profound hatred for Mukuro Rokudo and all pineapple-associated things, and therefore unable to resist the temptation of lashing out at Rokudo. Then he remembered that the infant has confiscated his tonfas, thus our dear skylark-san resorted to crunching the illusionist's foot with his heel.

**o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o**

Hands-on

The herbivorous teacher had the guts to ask the class to do some 'partner training'. Meaningly, two people will take turns to throw random insults at each other and they have to suppress their anger. Hibari couldn't help but wonder what the teacher would do if one of these potentially dangerous students really got angry, or is she so confident about her session that she was sure she cannot fail? Nah, the woman would probably resort to calling an ambulance. Repeat-calling an ambulance, not even calling for the police. Hibari turned to glare his now deliriously cheerful partner.

Mukuro rested his face on his hand, his lips curled back into a (so he hoped) seducing smile. 'Kufufu… this is fun, Kyouya, should I start first? Since that childish temper of yours definitely need some…'

'Shut up. I do not talk to pineapples.' Hibari snapped. Then a little satisfied at the tiny frown on Mukuro's face as the statement sank in.

'Oya? I see the little prefect has a problem with my hairstyle. No sense of fashion, do you?' Mukuro shook his head.

'…' (breath in, breath out)

Sensing no reaction from Hibari, Mukuro clasped his hands together and rested his elbows on the table. 'Then we shall get started on taming the shrew. Kufufufu…'

'…'

'I do enjoy reading Shakespeare, by the way.'

'…'

'In fact, I was an actress in the 18 century. Received so many flowers from all my admirers.'

'I have no desire to familiarize myself with all your dead lovers.' Hibari stated apathetically.

Mukuro went on, ignoring Hibari's comment. 'Hmph. None of them gave me as much flowers as I gave to you, Kyouya.'

Hibari clenched his teeth. The sakuras on their first meeting still stuck in the back of his mind like chewed gum. Mukuro, of course, observed the slight change in Hibari's body—more tensed. A satiable smirk spreading on his face, Mukuro continued.

'Of course, no amount of flowers can express my feelings for you, Kyouya. Now, stop staring or I'll get the wrong idea.'

'I'll bite you to death.' Hibari said, irritated, a hint of a hiss in his voice (imagine he is far away from you, far far away)

Mukuro chuckled. 'Really Kyouya, I am so flattered by your constant compliments. I might start to become conceited.'

Hibari winced. Could this man be any less arrogant? Then Hibari nearly bashed himself for thinking about such a stupid question. And suddenly Hibari realized their position was dangerously disadvantaged for Mukuro, since the prefect can just up one foot and kick Mukuro's manhood (think twice about the consequences of your actions). Yes, Hibari decided, it would be wonderfully satisfying to watch that extremely smug face become contorted with pain.

As he moved his right leg up, Mukuro sensed the imminent danger and quickly stood up, bringing the entire table down.

The flames on the candles caught the fiber of the thick carpet and quickly spread.

The woman screamed and pointed, drawing the attention of the other students, who all—despite being macho males—made a dash for the door. The woman continued to scream (A/N: for a graphic image, please refer to the painting 'The Scream') while walking out of the room.

Mukuro watched the fire grow bigger. 'Your fault, Kyouya.'

A pause, then the two guardians unanimously made their way towards the door.

'We could have put out this fire, you know.' Mukuro said, bemused as he watched the fire spread from the ground to the wall, consuming the lush purple curtains.

'We could and we will.' Replied Hibari.

'So why not…' Mukuro was about to question why they hadn't start putting out the fire when the mist guardian heard the prefect mumbling as he stared at the growing inferno.

'One Mississippi, two Mississippi…'

**~END~**

A/N: for those of you who do not get the last part, Hibari-san was planning to put out the fire after he counted to ten.


End file.
